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Logistics
PostRank 1
Anmeldungsdatum: 08.02.2014
Beiträge: 4
Hey Leute,
ich bin jetzt im Juni mit meinem Bachelorstudium fertig geworden und wollte mich für Stellen und nebenbei auch Masterplätze bewerben. Nun benötige ich für einen Platz ein Motivationsschreiben auf deutsch und englisch. Meine Englischkenntnisse sind aber nicht gerade besonders gut, daher wollte ich euch bitten meine englische Version mal auf Fehler durchzulesen:
Zitat:
Application for a Master degree in logistics management for the winter semester 2015/2016
Dear Sir or Madam,
My objective is to qualify myself academically in the field of logistics management to rely myself on a good training before entering the vocational world.
My aim is to reach an appropriate position in the logistics or procurement of a private company in the future. For an excellent academically qualification in this field I see the master´s degree program logistics management at the university of applied sciences xxxxxx as the ideal step of my further professional career.
Due to my finished education as Verwaltungsfachangestellter at the Bundeswehrverwaltung I gained first distributive experiences in the materials warehouse and got to know buyers activities in the procurement department.
These practical experiences moved me to begin a study as Bachelor of Science in logistics manage-ment after completion of my professional education.
The selected major fields during my study were procurement and production which are core components of the business logistics. The question of my thesis dealt with the issue if corporate sustainability in purchasing is just a fad or a long-term trend. Especially sustainability aspects reflect my interests in the field of procurement and logistics management. The completion of this bachelor degree strengthened my desire to learn more about the related subject areas of logistics management.
In addition i was able to gain in-depth knowledge of procurement during my 21-week internship at the xxxxxx mbH in xxxxx. These practical and relevant activities strengthened my desire to intensify my knowledge in this area. Therefore an ideal perspective for this purpose is your master program with focus on IT, engineering and logistics.
Based on my interests in production logistics I have participated voluntarily the REFA basics work-shop in whose topic I hope to get further insights by the master´s program logistics management.
I see my professional future as manager in a procurement department of a production company.
This masters program convinced me through the acquisition of technical, economical and traffic-related topics in small groups less than 20 students. Furthermore the good distinction of the University of Applied Sciences xxxxx in rankings like the CHE confirmed my wish to absolve continuative education in this institution. Besides these facts the city of xxxxx has an excellent reputation for students by labeling as liveable city in the world 2004.
Based on the relevant bachelor studies and my gaining of first practical experiences I am convinced to be perfectly suited for the master´s program in logistics management at the University of applied Sciences xxxxxx.
I would be very pleased to hear a positive decision by you soon.
Yours sincerely
Vielen Dank im Voraus 
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Professionelle Bewerbungsvorlagen- Sofort Ausfüllen im Online-Editor - |
hello there,
there are many which you should change in this statement of purpose,
Firstly, I have made few changes which would best suit the statements.
try to refine this, and i would help you refining it further.
cheers and good luck
** Respected Sir/Madam (would be better)
Application for a Master Degree Program**
Respected Sir/Madam,
My objective is to academically qualify in the field of logistics management to rely myself on a good training before entering the vocational(What do you actually meant to write here?) world.
My aim is to reach an appropriate position in the logistics or procurement of a private company in the future.(Present your aim and perspective in a legitimate way-------Post completion of master’s course, I contemplate building my exposure in automotive field as a successful senior consultant or management level consultant. Providing smartest of the solutions to the most critical issues in the industry and to establish oneself as a skilled professional can only be accomplished through the expansion of knowledge base through higher education and a constant push to aspire further. All the above factors strongly contributed to my interest towards pursuing ‘International Automotive Engineering Master’ in your esteemed university which will help me achieve my dream.----------------something like this will create interest in the reader to read much about you) For an excellent academical qualification in this field, I see the master´s degree program 'logistics management' at the university of applied sciences xxxxxx as an ideal step of my further professional career.
Due to my finished education(is this a graduation?? else you can start with--- qualifying as an Verwaltungs-----------) as Verwaltungsfachangestellter at the Bundeswehrverwaltung I gained first distributive experience in the material warehouse and got to know about the buyers activities in the procurement department.
Captivated by these practical experiences fuelled me to pursue Bachelor of Science in logistics management after completion of my professional education. Thus, leaving me a strong decisive enough to pursue my bachelor’s in the field of ................... which would best satiate my desire for knowledge and passion to progress......something like this would be apt to start your sentence.....)The selected major fields during my study were procurement and production which are core components of the business logistics(good). The question of my thesis dealt with the issue 'if corporate sustainability in purchasing is just a fad or a long-term trend?'. Especially sustainability aspects reflect my interests in the field of procurement and logistics management. After graduation, my desire to learn more about the related subject areas of logistics management strengthened.
Additionally, i was able to gain in-depth knowledge of procurement during my 21-week internship at xxxxxx mbH in xxxxx. (These experiences pushed me forward to learn more and to take a new horizon to gain more experience.)These practical and relevant activities strengthened my desire to intensify my knowledge in this area. (i would say something like this would be better to start your last paragraph.....The international orientation of your programme is what attracted me to it most, and this is also what truly resonates with my own career aspirations - the promise of global career opportunities, and the chance to broaden my horizons and to grow professionally as well as personally.I believe it is the only university in Germany which provides a course curriculum which can closely relate my interests and hands-on knowledge gained during my industrial projects.Glorified with history, excellent faculty, industrial experts, laboratory facilities and intense curriculum, your university would surely be a fruitful platform to shape my career and help me in fulfilling my dream.)Therefore an ideal perspective for this purpose is your master program with focus on IT, engineering and logistics.
I truly hope that, by accepting my application, you will allow me to acquire new and better tools, and thereby be able to step up to the challenge of my dreams.
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Logistics
PostRank 1
Anmeldungsdatum: 08.02.2014
Beiträge: 4
Hey thank you very much!
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